everything you read isn’t always true.
“Holy crap, stop reading things on the internet!” I just needed to give myself a quick pep talk.
I was in the middle of sending an email and needed to double check the spelling of my asshole of a tumor. It’s long, starts with an “O” and I just call it OJ Simpson. It’s stupid, why do they have to make such long, complicated words when fact is, it’s very simple… it’s cancer, it’s just simply called cancer.
Anaplastic Oligodendroglioma. See, it’s stupid. I googled it to make sure I was spelling it was correct, and it was the first time since April 25th, when my tumor was first found, that I even searched anything on the internet that had anything to do with cancer, brain tumors or Anaplastic Oligodendroglioma. I mistakenly clicked on 1 link and started reading about other patients prognosis and survival. Luckily, they were all over the place so I didn’t feel an overwhelming “I’m going to die in 3 years” sensation. I’m still scared-as-shit.
I had to close the website, sit up straight and say “Maggie! Stop!”. I put a smile on my face, took a deep breath and brought myself back to Earth. I might have to tell myself that it will be okay, and say it like I actually mean it, but it will be okay. One day at a time.